The only word I need to say today (to myself)

There are some days  when the details  of one’s  life – those that  really shouldn’t affect how one feels –  makes  me really, really …spent.  Can I just go back to bed, please? And wake up in heaven?  Lord, can’t  You  do something so my faith in You as our Provider and Sustainer sustains me in the midst of this ?   O, there is so so so much GOOD in  our lives and so many areas where there is ripe juicy f ruit almost ready to harvest on the branches of our family tree, yet…yet...the odor from those other trees  over there – the trees of worry fruit and I don’t understand fruit and Why can’t I go back to Who I Was fruit seems to overpower the good fragrance.

I must speak truth  to myself.  I  can only handle one word today – more than that  makes my brain more  muddled than it already  it.

“Nevertheless”

Ps. 73:23  “Nevertheless  I am continually with thee.”

The Psalmist has been, well…he has been whining.  I relate to that.  But he doesn’t stay there.  He knows there  must be a way to get mentally OUT or ABOVE his circumstances  and thoughts, to  something  sustaining.

Spurgeon fleshes this out for me:

“By this is meant continually on His Mind

                                 He is always thinking of me for my good

Continually in His  Hand

                                so that none can pluck me out! (especially not even myself)

Continually on His Heart

                                I am worn there a s a memorial as the High  Priest bore  the names of the 12 tribes on His breast forever

He is Always Working Providence for my Good

His Love is as Strong as death; many waters cannot quench it

HERE is a COMFORT for

              the tried and afflicted soul!

Vexed with the tempest within,

LOOK at the calm Without,

Say in thy heart,

“Nevertheless” and take the peace it gives!

Spurgeon

Lord, it is embarrassing to live at the poverty level – Tom feeling he is a bad provider…our kids  needing free health care? Really?    NEVERTHELESS

The V.P. here wanting to put Tom’s  name in for his position?  Does he take that if offered?  they  won’t let us when we live on half  the support required.  He doesn’t know what to do…What do we do?  NEVERTHELESS

My brain – will it never go back to normal?  I don’t know if I can handle that…Will I never be able to work at a  job again?  I feel so sad and I miss the competent fireball I was…now I am so dependent...NEVERTHELESS

And Tom and his desire to go to seminary – but You haven’t given us any money and we still have debt from moving back so quickly- what do we do with that, Lord?  NEVERTHELESS

And now  property taxes – where is THAT money going to come from when we can’t make ends meet as is?  We thought You gave us the house which  is cheaper than renting, but now what do You want us  to do???  NEVERTHELESS.

That MUST be the word for me today: NEVERTHELESS.

O Lord – I am trusting You ARE with  ME

You DO know what You are doing

I AM in the palm of Your Hand to stay

You ARE in this moment working  providence for my good

I AM continually  on Your Heart.

Yes.

“NEVERTHELESS I am continually with Thee.”

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