There are some days when the details of one’s life – those that really shouldn’t affect how one feels – makes me really, really …spent. Can I just go back to bed, please? And wake up in heaven? Lord, can’t You do something so my faith in You as our Provider and Sustainer sustains me in the midst of this ? O, there is so so so much GOOD in our lives and so many areas where there is ripe juicy f ruit almost ready to harvest on the branches of our family tree, yet…yet...the odor from those other trees over there – the trees of worry fruit and I don’t understand fruit and Why can’t I go back to Who I Was fruit seems to overpower the good fragrance.
I must speak truth to myself. I can only handle one word today – more than that makes my brain more muddled than it already it.
Ps. 73:23 “Nevertheless I am continually with thee.”
The Psalmist has been, well…he has been whining. I relate to that. But he doesn’t stay there. He knows there must be a way to get mentally OUT or ABOVE his circumstances and thoughts, to something sustaining.
Spurgeon fleshes this out for me:
“By this is meant continually on His Mind
He is always thinking of me for my good
Continually in His Hand
so that none can pluck me out! (especially not even myself)
Continually on His Heart
I am worn there a s a memorial as the High Priest bore the names of the 12 tribes on His breast forever
He is Always Working Providence for my Good
His Love is as Strong as death; many waters cannot quench it
HERE is a COMFORT for
the tried and afflicted soul!
Vexed with the tempest within,
LOOK at the calm Without,
Say in thy heart,
“Nevertheless” and take the peace it gives!
Lord, it is embarrassing to live at the poverty level – Tom feeling he is a bad provider…our kids needing free health care? Really? NEVERTHELESS
The V.P. here wanting to put Tom’s name in for his position? Does he take that if offered? they won’t let us when we live on half the support required. He doesn’t know what to do…What do we do? NEVERTHELESS
My brain – will it never go back to normal? I don’t know if I can handle that…Will I never be able to work at a job again? I feel so sad and I miss the competent fireball I was…now I am so dependent...NEVERTHELESS
And Tom and his desire to go to seminary – but You haven’t given us any money and we still have debt from moving back so quickly- what do we do with that, Lord? NEVERTHELESS
And now property taxes – where is THAT money going to come from when we can’t make ends meet as is? We thought You gave us the house which is cheaper than renting, but now what do You want us to do??? NEVERTHELESS.
That MUST be the word for me today: NEVERTHELESS.
O Lord – I am trusting You ARE with ME
You DO know what You are doing
I AM in the palm of Your Hand to stay
You ARE in this moment working providence for my good
I AM continually on Your Heart.
“NEVERTHELESS I am continually with Thee.”